My Life, My Nightmare

Hi! I decided to start this "Blog" as a way to help myself and motivate myself. My life has not been easy. I have struggled a lot and still continue to struggle with things including right now weight loss and anxiety! I was happy, really happy once and now sometimes I cannot figure life out. I have had a lot of stuff happen to me. I broke my hip when I was nine and developed a vascular necrosis. That means death to the blood supply. I was in a wheelchair for over ten years until I got a total right hip replacement. I also developed thyroid, PCOS, Metabolic syndrome and thyroid issues. I was a skinny kid and always skinny and now I look in the mirror some days and feel hate towards myself. Why did you do this to yourself?

Why did you allow this to happen? It is no ones fault but my own yet instead of really trying I get upset, sad, angry and feel sometimes like I am alone. I feel like with everything I have been through I should be STRONGER! I hate that part of me that left my accident define me. I hate that I always want to just give up. As of today I am going to write and write until I finish what MUST be accomplished. I am also going to work on myself. I NEED TO LOVE ME again! I need to LOVE myself. My hatred for myself is eating me. I was hesitant to do this because I know there is judgement and just a battle I need to win! I hope people will read this blog and I want to stick with this. I accept all suggestions. #BeKind but #TakeNoShit Thanks!